In the Heart of Forever Read online

  In the Heart of Forever

  A Heart Story

  Full Novel

  By: Jo-Anna Walker

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not

  Participate in or encourage piracy. Of copyrighted materials in violation of the author's rights. Purchase only authorized editions

  In the Heart of Forever

  Copyright 2013, Jo-Anna Walker

  ISBN-10: 1494340232

  ISBN-13: 978-1494340230

  Acknowledgements:

  First off, thank you to everyone who has helped me in my new journey of writing.

  My most wonderful husband, family and friends...I couldn't have done this without the support from all of you.

  Chrissy for recommending the most fabulous CPs a girl could have and for you, for being awesome.

  Susie, you are amazing and have taught me so much and are still teaching me through everything that I write. Thank you.

  Brenda Wright, you are a fantastic editor and friend and I am so happy to have you with me on the journey of getting Jesse and Rave's story out there. Thank you!!

  My girls at Twinsie Talk Book Reviews, Angie SJ, Angie WE, Jennifer, Melinda and Brenda...I may be a tad biased but thank you!! For everything! Just thank you!!!!

  To all the blogs who read and reviewed my book, your honesty is appreciated and thank you!!

  To Team Shattered. You ladies are amazing and without you, none of this would be possible.

  To Karen, my wonderful beta reader who wants "a Rave of her own". Thank you!!

  To my readers!! Thank you!!! Just for taking the time to read my book. Thank you for your patience during the wait of each part of this book.

  To Barbeth Publications for the gorgeous cover and for recommending the tulip theme. I heart you!!

  And to everyone else, you all rock my socks!! xx

  In the Heart of Forever

  Dedication

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  In the Heart of Now

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  In the Heart of Tomorrow

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  In the Heart of Us

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  In the Heart of Christmas

  ***Note: Due to the mature content and subject of abuse, this book is not recommended for a younger audience***

  Dedication

  To Jesse Dawson and Rave Black

  In the Heart of Yesterday

  Part 1

  Jesse Dawson

  Chapter 1

  As I sat in my seat at the front of Mr. Deel's class, I felt eyes boring into the back of my skull. Our school's team of snotty girls sat in the row behind me, whispering about yours truly.

  OMG. Look at Jesse Dawson, always wearing the same boring clothes with the same stringy hair. Has she ever had a boyfriend? Maybe she likes girls.

  With her small tits, if she didn't have long hair, she would look like a boy.

  Why can't she actually make an effort to look like a girl?

  I clenched my jaw, my foot tapping against the leg of the desk. They were loud enough that I would hear them but not too loud to alert Mr. Deel’s class. Miranda, Melissa and Melanie called themselves, "The Triple M's". It was cheesy. They were blonde, blue eyed and fake tanned and every boy’s fantasy at West Carlton High.

  I leaned forward in my desk, sighing and focused on Mr. Deel's lecture about American History. Some bad guy shot so and so and another guy went to jail...some torture was involved. I really didn't know what he was talking about. I started doodling in my notebook and stifled a yawn.

  The Triple M's giggled and Mr. Deel turned around. "Something you'd like to share with the class ladies?" A gray eyebrow rose.

  "Sorry Mr. Deel," Melanie Anderson said with so much warmth butter could have melted. I think I puked in my mouth a little.

  Mr. Deel nodded and turned back to the board, continuing in his lecture about some war back in the day.

  "Psst," Melanie said from behind me.

  I sighed and ignored her.

  A moment later she kicked my chair. "Hey, Four Eyes."

  I ground my teeth at the clichéd nickname. Apparently they couldn't come up with anything more original.

  I continued ignoring Melanie and pretended to read my history book. My chair jerked forward as she kicked my chair harder. I slapped my hand on the desk, causing Mr. Deel to glance over. My cheeks heated. “Sorry, Mr. Deel.”

  He looked between us and turned back to the board.

  The Triple M’s giggled.

  I turned around and glared at Melanie. "What?" I snapped, keeping my voice low.

  She smiled, perfect white teeth showing between gloss injected lips. "Nothing. Nothing at all.”

  She got my attention. That was her goal and I gave in. Stupid move, Jesse. I huffed and turned around in my seat as the three of them laughed.

  God, I hated this school. I could not wait to graduate. Six months left. Six months and I would be eighteen, graduated and gone out of this God forsaken city. For good, hopefully. I would go to college across the country, or even in a different country, and never look back.

  While I was stewing over my inner rant, Jake Porter walked in and handed Mr. Deel a note. Jake was your stereotypical geek: dark rimmed glasses, pocket protector and even the suspenders to boot. He turned, saw me and gave a little wave. I smiled and waved back.

  The Triple M's giggled harder making him blush. He abruptly left the classroom.

  "Is that your boyfriend, Four Eyes?" Miranda Adams asked from beside me.

  I rolled my eyes but didn't reply. Jake and I were friends. My only friend at this damn school. He’d been there for me when no one else had.

  "Well class, it looks like we have a new student," Mr. Deel stated.

  Curiosity came over me as someone entered the room. My gaze flicked to the door and a tall boy concentrated on his feet. He wore a band T-shirt and ripped blue jeans. Shaggy black hair covered his forehead and his full lips were set against hard features. He had a dark shadow on his jawline, making him look older but God, he was gorgeous.

  The girls in my class gasped when he looked up. His deep green eyes travelled around the room and then landed on me. My cheeks heated. His lips twitched at the sides and then he looked back at Mr. Deel. "Class, this is Rave Black."

  A collective giggle erupted around the room. I rolled my eyes, embarrassed for him. The girls swooned and the guys laughed at him.

  Mr. Dee
l told him to take a seat at the back of the room.

  I glanced down at my notebook. As he walked by, I could feel him looking at me, making the tiny hairs at the back of my neck tingle. The scent of musk and light cologne wafted into my nose, making my heart flutter.

  The Triple M's made some suggestive comments as he passed us. Melanie kicked my chair a moment later. "Careful, your boyfriend might get jealous."

  I took a deep breath. “He’s not my boyfriend. We’re friends.”

  Melanie snorted. “Right. That’s what they all say.”

  I huffed and turned back around in my chair.

  Half an hour left of class. Only half an hour.

  Miranda giggled. "I wonder what his story is."

  "He looks like someone with a dark secret," Melissa responded. “I definitely would not mind finding out what it is.”

  "What do you think, Four Eyes?" Melanie asked, kicking my chair again.

  I didn't answer. How was I supposed to know what his story was? I didn't even know the guy. I was not one to play along with the gossip and I definitely didn’t believe the rumors that were spread around about people.

  "I heard he was in juvie," Melanie continued.

  I frowned. How did she hear that already?

  "Juvie? Wow. He truly is a bad boy," someone else said.

  Seriously? Poor guy hadn’t even been here one day and already the rumors start. Leave it to the Triple M's to make that happen. Want something spread? Go to them. They would make sure to get the lies out.

  The bell finally rang and I gathered up my things. I hugged my books tightly against my chest and hurried out of the classroom.

  "Hey Four Eyes."

  I turned around and went to glare at Melanie when Rave walked by. His brow rose in question and his gaze drifted to mine. My face grew red hot and I turned away, stepping up to my locker.

  The Triple M's laughed at my misfortune and their giggles carried down the hall.

  “Hey Jesse.”

  I turned to the sound of Jake’s voice as he came up beside me. I smiled. “Hi,” I said, closing the door.

  “How’s it going?”

  I shrugged. “Not too bad. You?”

  “Good. How’s your mom?”

  “I haven’t seen her,” I mumbled.”

  Jake grabbed my books from me. “Allan still not letting you see her?”

  I shook my head. “I’ve tried asking but…”

  “Yeah. Listen, the dance is coming up. You going?”

  I breathed a sigh of relief at his change of subject. “I’m not sure. I haven’t really thought of it. Are you?” I leaned against the locker beside him.

  “I dunno. The Triple M’s are pushing everyone to go.”

  They were on the school social committee and were obnoxious about the events they planned. Red and pink hearts lined the halls enough to make even the girliest girl puke.

  The final warning bell ran and Jake pushed off the locker. “You heading to the library?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’ll walk you. We still on for lunch?” He playfully nudged my shoulder.

  I smiled. “Always.”

  We walked down the hall as the crowd of students cleared, heading to their classrooms.

  “If you want to go to the dance, let me know.” Jake handed me back my books. He turned and started walking away. “Bye bestie.” He waved over his shoulder.

  I giggled and shook my head, pushing through the library doors.

  This was my favorite time of day. Two hours to do nothing. Which I spent in the library. Being surrounded by the smell of books always made my heart skip a beat. Diving into other worlds that weren't my own gave me peace and calm. It always had. It was my way to escape and thanks to my mother, I inherited the love of reading from her.

  The final warning bell rang and I smiled to myself when the library came into view down the hall. Students milled about, heading to their designated classes.

  Mrs. Johnson, the school librarian, waved as I pushed through the doors. I waved back and headed to the classics section of the library. "And how's my favorite student today?" she called out.

  There was no one in the room, so there was no need to be too quiet. The library was never really full of students. Only people like me who actually enjoyed reading, spent time there. "I’m alright. How are you Mrs. Johnson?" I replied as my fingers grazed my favorite books.

  "I am well, thank you for asking dear."

  My eyes flicked to hers and I smiled. She was my favorite person at this school. Always greeting me with a warm smile, I felt more at home there than I did at...well...home.

  Her graying hair was pulled back into a tight bun and her thick bottle cap glasses framed her aging face. "Did you hear about the new boy?"

  I frowned. "New boy?"

  "Rave...?"

  Wow. News travels fast.

  "Black. Yeah, he's in my History class," I finished for her.

  "I've heard..." she paused.

  I turned to her.

  She cleared her throat and wiped her glasses on her dress. "Well...anyways. Just be careful," she smiled brightly.

  I nodded. "I will." Confusion coursed through me. What was that was about?

  Mrs. Johnson headed back to her desk and I continued browsing. Settling on a favorite, I grabbed it from the shelf and sat on the floor, crossing my legs under me.

  "Oh yes, we definitely have a lot of books here for such a small school," the cheery sound of Mrs. Johnson's voice carried over my way a moment later. A softer, deeper voice replied in return.

  I raised my head and tried seeing around the books towards her desk, but all I caught was the back of a T-shirt. I shrugged to myself and dove back into my book.

  "Sure thing. The classics are this way," Mrs. Johnson answered.

  My eyes travelled along the page, letting the words of the author float around me.

  "Oh hi Jesse. I forgot you were still here."

  My head popped up at Mrs. Johnson's voice. “Uh,” my eyes flicked back between her and...Rave. His arms were crossed under his chest, the air thick with confidence surrounding him. A hint of amusement flashed in his eyes.

  My cheeks heated at being caught sitting on the floor.

  “Jesse this is Rave Black. Rave,” she pointed to me. “Jesse Dawson.”

  He didn’t smile or offer any kind of greeting. His deep green eyes just bored into mine, setting my nerves on edge.

  I cleared my throat and stood, placing the book back on the shelf. “Hi."

  Rave looked down at my outstretched hand and then back up to my face but he didn’t shake it. “Thank you, Mrs. Johnson, I think I can find what I’m looking for from here,” he told her without taking his eyes off of me.

  “Ok, sure thing.” She looked at me. “Need anything else, just holler,” she hesitated and then walked left us alone, mingling in the stacks of books.

  I frowned.

  He walked by me, ignoring my outstretched arm,

  Ok, rude.

  I huffed and bent over to grab my bag when a pair of running shoes came into my field of vision. I rose to my full height, flinging my bag over my shoulder and saw Rave standing right beside me.

  His arms were crossed under his chest and his green eyes darkened as they took me in.

  My throat went dry, heart thumping hard against my chest. I licked my lips. Not able to take my eyes off of his, I continued to stare. His eyes were captivating. Like he could see into my thoughts. Something was different about him. The hard wisdom in his eyes betrayed the youthful look on his face.

  He leaned down, hot breath grazing my ear.

  I turned to him, his lips mere inches from mine. Is he going to kiss me? Did I want him to? I just met the guy but I was already drawn to him. I could see the specks of brown in his deep green irises. They flashed wickedly and flicked down to my lips.

  I was entranced by his stare and I couldn’t move, even if I wanted to. Oh this boy was dangerous. The kind of boy my mom used t
o warn me about.

  A moment later, he held something in front of me. “Jesse.”

  Was he talking to me? His deep voice caressed my skin like silk. He had to be older to have a voice like that. The way my name rolled off his tongue caused my stomach to flip.

  “Hmm?”

  “I said, you dropped this.”

  I snapped out of it and looked down. He was holding my cell phone. My eyes slowly met his.

  He smirked, obviously quite proud of himself.

  I snatched it from his hand and high-tailed it out of the library, my ego completely obliterated.

  Chapter 2

  Rave Black was dangerous. At least according to all of the rumors. The first week, rumors flew around school that even had the teachers talking. He had a history. You could see it in his dark green eyes. He was so young, yet his eyes showed pain and heart ache. Like he had been through hell and back. Juvenile delinquent was a popular rumor, but the most surprising one was murderer. Murder? Really?

  I didn’t know his story but I wasn’t going to believe what others said. Every single class I went to, people talked about him. I could tell he hated every minute of it.

  Only having one class with him, my heart skipped a beat every time he walked by me. Little glances would pass between us. A soft smile would splay on his lips, making my stomach flip.

  The girls would whisper and Melanie would tease me constantly about my blush. Luckily Rave sat at the back of the class so hopefully he didn’t hear her. Or see the way he had affected me.

  After our meeting in the library I instantly developed a crush. The way that he had looked at me made my heart flutter. All of these new feelings soared through me and they left me needing something…but I wasn’t sure what. Before meeting him, I never noticed how empty I felt. How I went through every day like a zombie, an empty shell. Completely inexperienced with boys, I didn’t know how to deal with the way that I reacted to Rave. Jake was my best friend and he was the only that I had been comfortable with.

  I would see those glittering emerald eyes in the halls but we didn't speak. I always looked for him while I pretended to read my books. I had even asked Mrs. Johnson if she heard from him but she had said that he only came by early in the morning. Her judgement of him changed each time she talked about. She would refer to him as a nice polite boy and how she wished everyone was like him.